Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in
today’s tough environment can be difficult but is not
impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6
tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.
Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self
esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage
your self image. Unchecked people and circumstances can
ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways
you won’t even notice. Don’t let these influences get the best
of you. But what should you avoid?
1 : A Negative Work Environment
Beware of a “dog eat dog” environment where everyone else is
fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative
people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not
rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your
contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work
late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the
time you will work too hard with no help from others around
you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This
is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and
very damaging.
2: Other Peoples Behaviour
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers,
snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers,
complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers – whatever you
want to call them, all have one thing in common – an overriding
desire to prosper at the expense of others. Avoid them and do
not be tempted to join them. They may get some short term
advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very
insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most
their self esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone
like this prosper is sickening but do not join them – you are
better than that!
3: A Changing Environment
In today’s fast moving society it is difficult if not
impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our paradigms and
tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think.
Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress but,
if it’s inevitable, you must accept it, don’t fight it and in
time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and
try to avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular
change can’t be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us
forever, we must learn to live with it.
4: Past Experience
We all carry “baggage” – past experiences which have moulded us
to who we are today, but some people live in their past
experiences – usually something that hurt and still hurts. It’s
okay to cry out when you experience pain but don’t let pain
dominate your life as it will transform itself into fears and
phobias. If something painful happens, or has happened to you,
find a way to minimise the effects. Discuss it with a friend, a
family member or a professional if necessary and move on. Don’t
let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future
actions. Because something bad has happened doesn’t mean it
will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad experience
and move on.
5: Negative World View
The television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true
that around the world there are many people suffering war,
famine or other natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not
suggest you should not care and do nothing, remember that there
are many beautiful positive things happening too. Don’t wrap
yourself up with all the negative aspects around the world.
Learn to look for beauty too for, in building self esteem, we
must learn how to be positive in a negative world.
6: Determination Theory
Are we a product of our biological inherited characteristics
(nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout out
lives (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a mixture of
both nurture and nature and as a result our behavioural traits
are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some things are dictated
by genetics (for example race, color and many inherited
conditions) your environment and the people in your life have a
major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you
have your own identity and make your own choices. The
characteristics your mother or father display are not your
destiny. Learn from other people’s experience, so you don’t
suffer the same mistakes.
Are some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don’t
believe so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice.
Building self esteem and drawing on positive experiences for
self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. No-one
will come to you and give you permission to build your self
esteem and improve your self. It is in your control.
It can be hard to keep positive, especially when others and
circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down. You need
to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay
positive. Improving your self esteem gives you that protection.
One way to stay positive is to minimise your exposure to
harmful influences while using affirmations to boost the
positive influences in your life. Constantly reminding yourself
of the good things in your life will keep the impact of negative
influences to a minimum.
About the Author: John Edmond writes on self help, and self
esteem at http://www.buildingselfesteem.info/.
To improve yourself esteem get your free copy of The Affirmware “7 Part
Affirmation Course” fromhttp://www.buildingselfesteem.info/affirmations.php now.
Source: http://www.isnare.com
